Day 49 Milestone

From fasting to following a path of freedom and eating Love

49 days ago I embarked on a journey that I had no idea where it would take me. I thought I was going into another fast, a 5 day one and guiding my housemates into it as they were new to it, but everything led me to go further, to drop what I thought I knew and to surrender to the path that was unfolding.

At 21 days in, while feeling I reached my first milestone, I felt that the next one would be the famous day-49 and when I calculated on which day that would fall on, it felt divinely orchestrated as it landed on winter solstice, which is today.

What journey am I talking about?

Good question I would say! I don’t even know myself how to define it specifically!

All I can say is that it is a journey of freedom from the collective submission to the dependency of food and liquids in order to survive. So that whenever I would treat myself with food, it would be a real & conscious choice of pleasure and not an illusion of need.

It’s a journey of deprogramming and deconditioning all cultural and scientific beliefs around food. A journey of attuned awareness on the emotional body as it is the real ruler of our food and liquids intake; it acts mostly subconsciously, comfortably hidden by our belief of need for survival.

It’s a journey that challenges everything I have been taught and that challenges everyone around me as it shakes a collective agreed human identity a paradigm of society (we work in order to pay for food and for a roof), and that brings into light the subconscious emotional disorders that are deflected by eating and drinking.

It started with a fast, a detox, it became a life path.

I started water fasting 8 years ago, from 1 day (I thought I was dying at that time!) to 3 days, to 7 days, to 10 days; did plenty of juice fasts, and finally in 2015 did my first attempt of the breatharian process of 21 days, from the book “Living on light” by Jasmuheen, which I pushed to 40 days (including 7 day dry fast – no liquid). At that time I was really strict with myself and had a young immature ambition of never ever eating again. After 40 days I succumbed to eating surrounded by so much emotional pressure from my family and friends, my pride took it as a failure and I went back to “normal” eating habits.

All those experiences were already milestones, I just had no idea that this path was unfolding at its own pace.

So what happened in the last 49 days?

- I started water fasting with my housemates on May 5th

- Stumbled upon Ray Maor breatharian online program in the following days, felt my inner fire burning strongly, I signed up! (raymaor.com)

- Started dry fasting (no food, no liquids) on May 8th for 7 days (until May 14th)

- During the dry fast I felt the strong call to put on a 1 month online program to support people to listen to what’s right for them instead of following what’s dictated around food and nutrition, while cultivating awareness on their eating patterns. That program is called “I Eat Love” and the first edition of it started on May 20th and successfully ended on June 17th.

- On may 23rd (19 days into that journey), I ate my first solid food. We were welcomed on a farm to go collect some spring water and were offered some of the food this couple was making from scratch. I ate a really small amount of their cheese, bread and cake. I thought I would be sick but I wasn’t. My choice felt aligned. I didn’t feel I was failing as this choice was conscious and didn’t mean I was back “eating” as before.

- May 25th, was the 21-day milestone, realising that this wasn’t a fast anymore, that there wouldn’t be an end, that my next step until the next milestone was to juggle between eating and non eating while keeping a sharp awareness on my emotional responses. Very confronting commitment.

- Between day 21 and today’s 49 day milestone, I have eaten 4 full meals, nuts, fruits and bites here and there whilst keeping a weekly dry fast day every Tuesday.

- On May 29th I started a workout that I’ve added to my daily routine. Since then every day I do 30 min yoga routine (by Mark Whitwell) + 40 min sitting or Tandava meditation + 45 min workout (figure8 by Jaana Kunitz)

- Since June 18th (5 days ago) I have started another dry fast for the solstice, but I am going to continue it for an undetermined duration as it is the first time in the 4 dry fasts that I have done in my life, that I am not feeling tired, depleted, dry, not struggling to sleep, not losing heaps of weight and I don’t look gaunt.

- I feel like my weight has stabilised. It’s a feeling more than a certainty, as I purposely didn’t want to buy a scale, to fall into the body image trap I did in 2015 with my first attempt. I know I’ve lost 2 pant sizes as I discovered when shopping for winter clothes. I look healthy, still curvy. You wouldn’t mistake me for an anorexic woman.

- Since day 49 I don’t suffer from any of my usual Lupus (autoimmune disease) symptoms such as joint inflammation pain, nor do I suffer from my chronic gut and digestive discomfort.

So today on my 49-day milestone post solstice, I want to honour the change, not only of the season but also of the cycle of that inner process. I feel that something has landed, something has been transformed.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or how this path will continue to unfold, but I know that every step is freeing me more of rooted limited beliefs, is anchoring reference points of a reality I didn’t even think was possible.

I love how this journey has turned into a deep self-love journey that honours me in every step (big improvement from 2015!!)

I love witnessing the ripples around me, how my experience is influencing others from self-enquiry on the topic, to delving into fasting or dry fasting themselves- often for the first time.

I never had a real mentor on this path, I have been inspired by books and videos that I’ve mentioned in this post, but I never had someone to really follow or give me personal advice. As much as I wished I could receive more guidance, I am so grateful I didn’t because it forced me to deeply listen from inside. I had to find my own path and be a pioneer of my inner transformation and I am feeling a strong call to guide others to do so, not to follow my path, but to find their own!

(Another incredible woman to listen to on youtube is Sofia Waapiti Ra)

June 23rd, 2020